"In The Bullseye Of A Hurricane", Part 2
Holding my new cruise card, I was almost aboard the Grand Princess, just a gangway away from the machine that goes "bing!" With two weeks and nine ports (Aruba, Curaçao, Grenada, Barbados, St. Vincent, Antigua, St. Thomas, Dominican Republic, and Grand Turk) I would have a ton of opportunities to fulfill my mission: to seek out new darts in new places. And with five sea days as well, I could already guarantee "mission accomplished".if.the ship has a dartboard.
Therefore, today's topic is devoted to darts on a boat.
You may recall, that I've cruised before. In fact, I've already spent forty days and forty nights on the Grand's identical sister ships, the Star and the Golden, cruising the Southern Cone and Pacific Coast of the Americas. On that first Princess cruise, thank my lucky stars, the Star had a dartboard-and I tried to throw ton-eighties all the way home from Uruguay. So, I took a short repositioning cruise on the Golden, from California to Canada, assuming it would have a dartboard too. It didn't. So, would the third sister ship have a board on board or not? As I walked up the gangway, I still didn't know, despite my desperate advance research, but this would be the first thing I find out. Not only do I know this labyrinthian ship like the back of my shooting hand, but I know all the tricks to treating yourself to a super cruise. First on and first off, biggest bang for the buck, that's my policy. And, it all starts when the machine goes.
Bing! "Woohoo! I'm on the boat!" Hustle my satchel through the x-ray. "Welcome aboard sir!" " I blow by the photo gals, "Sorry, later, thanks!" and beeline for my cabin, up stairs, down halls, fast, "Pffft, like I'd ever buy my photo," with no need to consult the maps, Emerald Deck 510. The lock blinks green, "Woohoo!" and I'm in my room, "Ahhhh." It was the cheapest inside stateroom on the boat, but I already got a complimentary upgrade to an oceanview! "Woohoo!" But, it's an obstructed view. Bummer. But, it's only obstructed a little! Probably the best obstructed view on the boat! "Woohoo!" Cranking the AC and checking my pockets for my crucial cruise card, I grab my dart case (which I wisely moved from my check-in luggage to my carry-on, to simultaneously thwart both Homeland Security by air, and, by sea, the inevitable delay of the Princess porters who have to hand deliver thousands of suitcases). "Woohoo, got my darts!" Now, while most passengers are still arriving, scouting out the ship or fiddling around in their rooms with remotes or room service menus, I'll slip two decks down, past the casino to the cigar bar, Snookers, and see if there was a dartboard hiding in the same corner as the Star Princess.
There wasn't. I felt the ship sink a little along with my heart. No chance to throw on a boat. Or to teach people or meet people through darts. No ton-eighty's at sea. But then, with a heavy sigh, I looked around.
In the other corner. A perfectly good sisal board on a broad cork backboard with decent lighting. And, although the pub doors were open, the bar itself was still closed, and no one was there, no waiters, no other passengers, just me.
I unzipped my case, flighted my world-traveling steel tips, and threw a few. I was throwing darts on a boat. Such simple satisfaction. The ship was still sitting in the dock, and this trip was off to a double good start.
Before departing Ft. Lauderdale, I had time to return to my room, check out the TV channels, and read about upcoming entertainment and tomorrow's activities. To my amazement, the Grand Princess had a "Darts Competition, Snookers@5:30? listed in the "Princess Patter", the daily cruise newsletter. On the Star, they only offered darts twice a week, so I was thrilled to learn they had it every day on the Grand! And, of course, I would attend most of them-occasionally the ports took priority. I won most of the matches, which were just silly little variations of short simple games. I'd usually lose by letting onlookers lob a turn for me, but I was beaten fair and square once or twice. That's part of the beauty of darts, right? But when I won, I would always give the champagne prize away to whomever had the most fun, player or spectator. I encouraged many to come, and some came often, and I taught several how to play. I made friends with the bartenders and waiters, and got them to shoot. I got to know the crew staff who ran the activities, convincing them to bring extra champagne and prizes for everyone.
And, I befriended the veteran cruise director who, being from England, was terrifically helpful. One, he videotapes a version of the Princess Patter each day, that repeats from six til noon, and he actually began announcing during the activities rundown that "a travel blogger and darts expert" was on board, helping encourage other passengers to come play. Two, he also agreed to help me contact Princess and attempt to improve the safety of their set-ups; for example, the board has soft round wires and bounce-outs were far too common. (Don't you think more dart players would choose to cruise if they knew there was a quality dart area on the ship?) By the end of the trip, I had a handful of regulars who wouldn't miss darts, not even on formal night. And, If I found nothing on the islands, the Grand Princess would give me more than enough darting memories. And friends.
And, among all the autographed sports memorabilia in Snookers, they even had a pennant for my beloved Trailblazers. And, speaking of sports, this cruise coincided with the end of MLB baseball, dozens of key NCAA and NFL football games, the NBA tipping off, plus FIFA soccer and the Breeder's Cup, so there was no shortage of sports entertainment throughout. It's pretty weird watching the World Series on a floating jumbotron in the Caribbean night, or having the the captain come on to announce the results of a historic horse race while you're watching for dolphins from a jacuzzi.
I never did hit that ton-eighty though. Came close a few times. I did manage a deadeye at sea, sort of-I slopped the first DB, the second fell out, and I hit the third-I swear they were all in there! But honestly, I could only afford a few hours of serious practice during the final sea days. There was just too much to do, too many new people, places and pleasures to enjoy, not to mention the blue sky and water. However, occasionally I would get a British passer-by or off-duty Dutchman to play a real game of 501, with no need for tips and pointers or my manic enthusiasm. Nothing but two mates playing darts with a mutual respect for the game.
I also found a soft-tip board in the youth center. But it seemed like decoration compared to all the hi-fi wi-fi sci-fi gadgets and games the teenagers can choose from.
And, I found out why the Grand and Star have boards, but the Golden does not. The explanation? Two of the three sister ships spend half the year in Europe, where more people play. It may seem trivial, but this is a vital bit of knowledge for me and the next cruise I choose. Because there is nothing like darts on a boat.
Until the captain crackles onto the intercom.
"Good evening folks, unfortunately our weather reports indicate that the tropical storm near Barbados has grown into Hurricane Tomas, therefore we will attempt to circle around it's path, traveling at full speed through the night in rough seas. Obviously, move about with care, and we hope Hurricane Tomas will not do any damage on land or impact our itinerary."
Wow. Now, there is nothing like darts on a boat chasing a hurricane. Epic.
Over and double out.