"In The Bullseye Of A Hurricane", Part 1
There's nothing like having friends in high places-like a young gun lawyer that lives in South Beach, Miami,
Florida. After forking over a rock bottom rate for my latest trip by ship out of Fort Lauderdale, it was a
perfect chance to couch surf at his place for four days before the Grand Princess set sail. Better yet, his
apartment is a few steps from the infamous people-watching and palm trees of Lincoln Street, where you can giggle
and ogle at every silicon socialite, supermodel, accessory shitzu, tank-topped stud muffin, gold digger, plastic
surgeon, and transgender-bender that saunters by. Best of all, in a place paced by nightlife, there must be at
least one decent dart bar around.
In fact, I found four.
Things started the moment I landed-at two in the morning. By the time we reached his flat, it was closer to three, but, knowing me and despite being a work night, my friend said, "Let's get a beer. There's a dartboard in a bar right around the corner." So, before I even unloaded my luggage, I was playing darts in Miami.
The name of the first pub is The Abbey, a cozy wooden microbrewery with a dartboard nook by the front door. After emailing the owner, I was invited back the next day to meet the master brewer who keeps a beautiful set of blue feather-flighted darts behind the bar. If you're ever in the South Beach barrio, and have worn out your beer goggles trying to decide which hot babes are 18 or 80-or which ones are actually female-then The Abbey is the place I recommend, for a pint worthy of Portland, and a quiet game of darts. Tell the owner I sent you...
Over the next three days, I would, of course, stay up too late, sleep in even later, eat breakfast for lunch, and do it all over again. There were some non-dart highlights: outdoor happy hours and more people watching, fab restaurants, and a full moon beach bash and drum circle-a party on the playa so big that the ATV-cops had to crash it after midnight. But mostly, my visit was basically bar hopping with friends, old and new.
The second dart bar I found is called Dewey's. The board is tucked away inside, and without bar darts it's BYOD,
but nonetheless-with great deals on buckets of beer, karaoke, and indoor/outdoor options with a dozen plasma
screens for sports fanatics-this is also a great place to chill and kill the bull.
The third joint-one of Miami's best dive bars, with a secretive happy hour only the locals know about-is called the Veterans of Foreign Wars bar, or VFW, located a few floors above the bay in the Floridian, a condo tower. If you want a relaxing game, with patrons that are as ragged and real as the bar darts, this the place for you.
My final discovery was on Lincoln Street itself, at Lost Weekend, a hopping and happening hangout for normals and
abnormals alike. A place you can play pool or watch sports, or drool over the babes, buffs or crossdressers, while
enjoying great late night grub and suds. Upstairs is a private balcony with two boards, overlooking the action
below. If you're itching for a combo of good darts and the high-rolling hilariousness of South Beach, I suggest
you stagger into Lost Weekends. The bar darts are waiting-just ask the smoking hot bartender.
But, before I knew it, my four days in Miami were done, and my fourteen days at sea were about to begin-hurricanes or not. Another new friend drove me to the port midday Monday, where the Grand Princess towered over all, ready to shove off for Aruba. And, hopefully, more exotic darts to discover.
(By the way, although the South Beach area seems bereft of a league at the moment, I did swap emails with some folks in the Broward County Darts Association, in Fort Lauderdale, where they have strong membership and plenty of regular shoots and blind draws for you to discover. So, if you visit southern Florida, I highly recommend flying into FLL-not just because they like to lose bags at MIA-but there's a bartender in the concourse bar, who not only used to own her own dart bar, but used to be one of the best female players in town. We had a great conversation as I waited for my flight home, after the cruise. I showed her the DATW website, and we chatted like oche lovers do, and once again, the world got smaller and friendlier because of darts.)
Over and double out.